Arrogant Alien

Do I look like I'm a people person?

2008-10-17T10:19:00.002+10:00

...and they say OUR political system is fucked up

2008-09-11T13:52:00.003+10:00

Oh dear. This person should be recognisable to practically anyone who has had the misfortune to have watched any news in the last fortnight. Kinda screams REDNECK, doesn't it?

Check out the dudes in the background.

Conversion tactics

2008-09-11T13:41:00.000+10:00

and here I thought the taliban had some dodgy schemes!

...via 3G

Indeed

2008-07-15T12:59:00.002+10:00

Saturday morning

2008-06-21T09:18:00.001+10:00

...via 3G

Idiots at the wheel

2008-04-28T12:43:00.005+10:00

For those of you aware of the cuts at USQ, this makes some pretty good reading.

I'm yet to figure out exactly whats happenning, but it seems someone has an agenda against maths, computing and sciences.

I am very glad I finished when I did, and I also truely believe unless the USQ decides to reverse its decisions it will be the end of the place as a top university. Who will take a university seriously when it does something like this?

I must admit however, this type of action doesnt surprise me. Since 1989 I have witnessed some utterly stupid decisions being made at USQ and some hopeless policies being put into place.

QUT for me.

Geeks and chick

2008-04-27T11:21:00.004+10:00

(click to enlarge)
I saw this image years ago, since then I've been looking for it again.
Funny how it never occured to me to look in a backup :/

Toys from hell.....

2008-04-11T22:20:00.010+10:00

At the beginning of time, milliseconds after the big-bang where some fundamental elements were formed, whatever entity that was in charge of causing this looked at the scene of utter chaos and destruction, and said "Jeez I'm bored, what can I do now?"

It decided to create bastard childrens toys.

You would never know these toys exist until you are surrounded by them. At first they just appear, here and there, in your peripheral vision. Next thing you know, while reading the paper you are suddenly trapped by a team of covert plastic, wooden and fabric toys hell bent on making you their servant.

Take for example the Rocking Horse. Cute, white, but the bastard has a habit of making its way silently into the the walkway. Middle of the night while staggering out for that much needed water...step quietly...fumble...whats that? BANG..there's the bastard. During the day it doesnt necessarily get much better. Quite often you will catch a glare from the beady eyes, you know its scheming the next night's raid.

Plastic Train also has goals of undermining you. As usual these toys tend to scatter themselves during the day, at night one of the last jobs is to herd them back into their respective boxes and holes. This bugger has a sense of humour and a hair trigger. Quietly..quietly...pick it up, carry it ever so carefully back to the toy box...place it down, dont flinch...WHOO WHOO!!! CHOOF CHOOF CHOOF...and thats just the start of it. It always seems to sing for a lot longer when you have it in your hands, bending down at the worst possible angle, than when the kid is dragging it around the floor by whatever orifice he can get his hands on (Now you know why toys make such horrible painful noises at times).

Just remember - when you DO finally get all the toys back in the toy box, DONT bump it. All hell breaks loose as the dormant toys spring to life and find they have been cheated out of another night's rampage.

Smokin' Dog. Now here's a lesson for the young kiddies not to smoke. Somehow Smokin' Dog ends up in the toybox. It probably hijacks the Tonka Truck, tosses out the driver and stowes away. Hold his hand and he giggles. Nothing...and I mean NOTHING is more unsettling than a stoned dog the size of a Milo tin, sitting up and giggling at nothing in a middle age yankee voice...oh..and it shakes. Sounds very much like some parties I had whilst at uni. Yeah, the kid loves it - perfect for distractions, but just you wait until the batteries start dying. Funny chuckling shaking dog turns into a 90 year old emphysema patient with the DTs.

Of course there's the usual soft toys that have dirty looks on their faces...well, the ones that HAVE faces. Calamari is a 5 legged blue octopus (yes, I know) with huge white eyes - that glow. He seems harmless enough, but hanging around a bunch of toys that are perfecting their guerilla warfare skills would make any stuffed toy consider escape at all costs.

Even such items like wooden blocks tend to have a mind of their own. Ever woken up with a 2"x4" wooden block lodged in your spine? You will... Its always the blue one. This is the same bugger that sits behind the door, stopping it from closing. It hides. It can take you many minutes of attempted closing of the door and numerous descriptive words for faulty workmanship until turning on the light reveals that same bloody block stuck between the door and your sanity.

(more to follow)

Little Book of Calm

2008-02-25T20:21:00.002+10:00

[09:44] * Graveling sees Little Book of Calm on the desk
[09:44] * Graveling reads various pages of Little Book of Calm
[09:45] * Graveling lights Little book of calm on fire and tosses through bogan neighbor's window
[09:45] * Graveling is calm now

wtf?

2008-02-07T12:13:00.000+10:00

...via 3G

Track #10

2008-01-22T11:19:00.000+10:00

We decided to go for a bit of a strap the other day. The Rav is built to deal with this kind of road quite nicely. This one led us from Yandina to Mapleton via Pt Glorious.
It never ceases to amaze me some of the dipshits that try to travel these roads. Halfway down a track that would be nasty even for a trailbike, I came across some silly twat sheila in a 3 door hatch (something like one of those "Life" cars..) bearing down on me going flat out, middle of the road. There was barely enough room for the Rav, so I swung it into the side of the road to avoid creaming this silly cow. How the hell she got to Pt Glorious has be absolutely stuffed...and the fact that she made it back has got be buggered as well. Some of the crevaces in the road were at least 1' deep.
My reward for throwing the Rav into the embankment and avioding her? A mouthful of abuse and her not even bothering to get to the side of the road.

...via 3G

Being Dad

2007-11-09T08:17:00.001+10:00

Recently when someone heard that I was a stay at home dad, they commented that they would gladly have that life and would swap their 38 hour/week job for it in a flash. "Sounds great" he said. "Nice and relaxing!"

Let me compare...

As a stay at home dad:
Split shifts, usually lasting around 4-5 hours each, the rest of the time you are on call. If you have childcare you get about 8 hours off a week (8 hours per day at childcare). No holidays, no loading, no sick days, and remember, if you work from home, that has to be done as well.

Your shift starts at about 6am. You get the child ready for breakfast (chef), and if they cant feed themselves then you do that (maid). When they are mobile you must monitor them or secure the room/area they are in (security guard). This is good time for reading to your kid (teacher) or playing (playmate), and in summer months going for a walk with the dog and kid (childcare manager with two children)
This shift usually ends at anywhere between 9am and 10:30am.

During this down time if you can, you get the housework done that cant usually be done whilst the kid is terrorizing the house and dog (housemaid).

The next shift starts without notice at around 11:30. Lunch time (chef), of course, Star Trek is on tv (education). Same deal with this shift, monitor kid (security guard) and maybe cater to the childs needs with a Sesame Street video or Patsy Bisco cd (psych ward attendant).

This shift may end at 2:30 or so, depending on the length of the previous downtime. This particular downtime (if you get it) is coffee time, study time (student), fixing computers (IT professional) or maybe play on the net time (student), however it pays to start preparing for the next shift while you have the chance (logistics management), remember, there's your work to do too.

The dinner shift starts anywhere from 3:30 onwards, once again, no notice. This is where your day tends to turn to shit if it has the potential, and quite often it does. Its a bit of a rush, kid to secure (security guard) and constantly request to stop making so much noise (jackhammer operator), dinner to prepare (chef), dealing with any mail that came (solicitor). Time to feed the kid (council worker with shovel) and clean him up afterwards (fireman). Getting to watch the news is a bit of an anomoly due to the chaos (psych patient), but can be achieved if you have a second tv and can dissapear (public servant). Unfortunately you are usually found within minutes by the dog or kid (politician).

Dinner done and all the associated stuff taken care of, kid asleep finally. A bit of tv or net, maybe read the paper...but it aint finished yet.

A late evening bottle is does the trick for a full night's sleep, and usually occurs about 9:30.

Weekends are a little less busy, two of you normally, and its a good chance to do some family stuff like shopping (accountant), going for drives (cabbie), or generally being dad and taking the family somewhere (childcare manager with three children).

Remember also, that by the end of the week, your usual beers on a friday night turn to a cup of tea. Saturday night might mean a shot of bourbon, but a shot of valium is just as effective.

Yeah sure dude, I'll swap you your 38 hour a week job...(nah, wouldnt swap for the world)

Bossa Nova

2007-11-01T09:17:00.000+10:00

After the recent unfortunate demise of my last regular cafe I have found an even better one.
Bossa Nova at Woody Point has great staff, great coffee, and a pretty bloody good view.

...via 3G

Sparks

2007-10-08T19:01:00.000+10:00

Seems storm season is here. These were taken while huddled around a corner, praying to whatever god still was talking to me that Thor didnt find me first.

...via 3G

Nice drive

2007-10-08T08:44:00.001+10:00

Somewhere between Melbourne and Canberra...

...via 3G

Says it all, really...

2007-07-12T09:31:00.001+10:00

Question

2007-06-22T12:43:00.000+10:00

Saddam Hussain was tried, and hung for torturing and murdering x numbers of innocent people. Was Harry Truman ever tried for his torturing and murdering of innocent Japanese people when he chose to drop the atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki?

Documents on the decision to use the atomic bombs.

Definition of hypocrisy.

Comments on

2007-06-03T20:02:00.000+10:00

I just realised comments were to registered users only...I fucked up.
Its open to all viewers now. I very much doubt if I will get comments, but fuckit, its open now.

Dog Art

2007-05-30T15:37:00.000+10:00

Maybe my dog is an artist.

I woke thismorning, and with coffee staggered out the front door. Bugger me if there wasnt this monolith in my front yard. My first thoughts were of the giant alien construction in 2010. I cautiously walked around it, keeping my distance. Quite impressive from a little Kelpie Cross.

No shit, I actually did find it standing on edge like this

Warpramming

2007-05-30T15:07:00.001+10:00

Wardriving is a tad too easy these days...so lets go one step
further. Warwalking...done it...warjogging...to strenuous...
warpublictransporting...too fast, and generally the bus drivers crack the shits when you ask them to stop for a few minutes.

How about warpramming? Now there's something any bored
technodad can do.

Equipment: 1 x pram, 1 x lappy, 1 x wifi card or built in wifi,
1 x baby (well, you're going to look pretty stupid pushing an
empty pram arent you?).

Just take this into account: most prams aren't made for the high speed sprint across paddocks, parks, or through crowded shopping areas...get a speedwobble up on one of these fuckers and you will soon see the ground. It wont be pretty, and probably be rather embaressing. Of course I also dont suggesting running with your kid in the pram. Moral of the story - dont get busted.

Mounting the lappy is a bit of an issue, so lets go for stealth.(Yeah, its a Compaq, laugh it up...hey, I got screwed by Harvey Norman...)

The image below is taken from a screen dump of NetStumbler.

(click to enlarge)

I am amazed to see people still have insecure APs. This is obviously to lack of education, but don't you think it would be nice for the dickhead salesmen (and women) in places like Harvey Norman, Dick Smith etc to tell people that these APs come with no security switched on by default? Or here's an idea Dlink, Linksys, and all other AP manufacturing companies, how about turning security on by default?

Yep, there are a few there with WEP, but the only difference between WEP and a completely unlocked system is the time it takes the script kiddy to download the appropriate cracking tool.

Lucky I'm a nice person...however, you there, with the AP name of fuck off? Keep trying turd...

Note: the above pram has a while ago been replaced by a faster, radar invisible, quicker model...

I love my airhorns

2007-05-25T12:12:00.000+10:00

The first thing I acquired for the Rav when we got it was some airhorns. Triples for $35, what a deal. I was sick of the "meep" you hear constantly from poofy little car horns that people have a habit of using instead of opening their mouths, ie. "I'm home", "I've just driven past your house" (now that one really shits me), and my favourite "Get out of my fucking way dipshit!"

Nowdays you hear a horn and most of us dont even look to see what it was about. That could be a problem if you walk in front of a car, but hey, thats your bloody fault.

So, air horns were a logical step. I dont excessively use the horns, its normally only in replacement for some verbal abuse but is occasionally accompanied by a hail of nastiness, my favourite words being "fuckwit", "tosser", and "stupid old ****" (the last one gets quite a bit of a workout on our local tourist strip and on pension thursdays).

I must admit, since finishing up at work to stay home and look after the kid, my patience is getting thinner with other people's driving. When I was in a company car 8 hours a day it is generally a bad career move to start abusing someone, even though most of the time they deserve it. I got into a usual zombie like state when driving for work, the many-a-day experience of being cut off or witnessing stupidity usually only got no more than a under-the-breath muttering of "idiot", and that was on in a particularly bad situation.

Nowdays, I am lucky to hit 20km a week, and most of them are with the kid in the car. I think the protectiveness gene has kicked in, and is getting on quite nicely with the low-tolerence gene. (I believe they are soon to expect a little "dont fuck with me" gene). Maybe for that reason I am slightly wary of using the airhorns, mainly for the fact that the pigs would ream me a new one if given the chance, and christ knows what ugly 7 foot bastard hells angel I might accidentally pick a fight with.

However I do on the odd occasion get those few chances to make an ear shattering statement through the horns. Last week, on one of my outings with the young fella, I was driving slowly through our local Coles car park. Now, Recliffe has its fair share of bogans and dipshits, flanellette shirts and jeans are worn by a fair percentage of the fashion victims in the area. No offence to flannelette shirts, I have a few myself, but dude, they arent coffee shop attire, ok?
Anyways, this dickhead in a red Falcon who was parked in a loading zone out the front decided to take off in a blaze of glory, without even looking to see that I was bearing down on his right side. By the way, the Rav looks quite a bit bigger than the usual Ravs due to the huge alloy bullbar at the front. I could see by the bad haircut, lit smoke hanging halfway out of his mouth, and the flanny, that this guy probably got his licence on Ebay.

There was that glimmer in my mind of "thankyou god" (no, I'm not religious, but whatever god will listen..thankyou) when this turd just kept coming. Of course I thought I should do the polite thing and let him go, but my arrogance and his stupidity got in the way when I slapped myself for considering letting this prick get away with it.

I nice two second blast on the horns got more than the required result. As if in slow motion, the cigarette was spat at the windscreen and bounced off to somewhere in the car, his head hit the ceiling, and I'm sure his eyeballs hit his 1980s era government issue glasses. For the first time all day a smile was on my face. The other driver however did try to get the last word in and with a breaking voice screamed "Fucking idiot!"...heh.

More to follow.....